Clear-Cutting For Portion Control

Ever seen a stump of an ice-cream pint? 

A pint is a single serving.  But sometimes, rationality gets the better of me and I decide that rationing is the way to go, just in case I get trapped under the rubble after an earthquake right next to the freezer.  While efficiency dictates that I eat straight out of the container, the undulating topography of the frozen surface, an inevitable result from eager scraping and scooping, never fails to throw me into deep anxiety, because it is messy, unfinished, undone.  I prefer the clean-cut look.  So I often find myself sculpting the ice-cream with my spoon, ironing out the creaminess and transferring the surface irregularities to my mouth.  Of course, it never looks perfect until you hit bottom.  Yes, it is flat there.

So here's a new tack.  Just chop the damn thing in half.  Use a sharp knife, make a quick, clean cut as in Kosher slaughtering, divide and conquer.  In one fell swoop, better storage aesthetics and multiple fell scoops are created.  Saran wrap is advised to protect the exposed ice-cream.     

Posted via email from Mandarin Menace Lite

It Pays To Not Shit Your Pants

The price of laundry in my building just went up by 100 percent.  Granted, I've lived here for over a decade and therefore have been spared the travails of going to a laundromat, but still, this "facility" is in the fucking garage, where the air is not particularly good, especially when Señora Building Manager (who is a nice enough lady) chooses to ignore - or perhaps she really doesn't understand English - the "No Smoking" sign.  

These washers are brand spanking new, Energy Star and all.  I am happy to support ultra-efficiency - pay a little more, no big fucking deal.  It's good to use less water and less electricity.  (By the way, I always use cold water.)  The landlord should save money in the long run, right?  So why did he not pass on the savings, but instead introduce this tiered pricing system based on Soil Level?  

It is not apparent to me that when there's only one price that people would automatically choose the heavy cycle.  I have always been a conscientious launderer, being the exemplary individual that I am.  Therefore these new machines are pissing me off big time, especially when there is no guidance on what Light, Medium, and Heavy soil-ness mean, except for what might be deduced from here.  Light day, medium day, heavy day for kettlebell workouts?  Light flow, medium flow, heavy flow?  Cat hair?  Dog fleas?  What???  
 
It's like 2 AM and I need some damn quarters.

By the way, some of you know that I have started this other blog, and I will keep using both, just so we can be schizophrenic about it.  Please leave comments and generously Share / Tweet / Like.